If you were a gladiator and you were sent into combat in the Colosseum, you'd be faced with one of two outcomes - kill or be killed. If we assume you want to see another sunrise, then you will do your best to butcher your opponent, and show the baying crowd and the blood-thirsty emperors that you've earned their respect. You return to your cell victorious and live to fight another day.
Those times are long gone. But although today's business combats may not have such a bloody outcome, there's often a whiff of gladiatorial combat in the air.
There are going to be times when you're negotiating some agreement when it feels a bit gladiatorial. You are wrestling with a supply contract, which you really want. But your customer is pushing hard and demanding all sorts of unreasonable provisions that you dare not deny for fear of losing everything.
They know they are in a stronger position, but they're not in a mood to grant you any concessions, or see your point of view. You need their customer base but you're never going to make any money with a deal like this.
It shouldn't be 'kill or be killed' in business life. I'm a firm believer that business really is about partnership, and that when you're negotiating with your customer or supplier you should both be sitting on the same side of the table - collectively looking out towards your market and solving problems together. That's a more mature approach that will pay dividends in the future. It doesn't mean going back to your boss with some wishy-washy agreement that has compromised your position. It means pushing for the things you really need and yielding on the things that are not so important to you. But it's very important, if the deal is going to last the distance that both parties get something they can take back as a win.
During my career I've mediated many agreements between organisations. I generally start in the same way each time; asking both parties to give me three things they want and three things they're prepared to offer in exchange. These have to be things they both know have value to the other party. And we start from there - neither side know what the other has said until I first share the outcome - with each, separately. When a party offers something, they're thinking about what the other party might value. For example, wanting the best price in exchange for a guaranteed minimum volume, that sort of thing.
So we talk about where there is agreement and where there appear to be differences. I try to avoid creating entrenched positions. Then I prepare a summary and we all get together to discuss and trade. It generally takes a bit of back and forth but eventually we get the framework of a deal that both parties are satisfied with. Then we send it to the lawyers to 'top-n-tail'.
Your new partner is going to help grow your business, and you're going to help grow theirs. Consider them an extension of your team - you don't want an adversary that you crushed into the dirt. Give them a victory and then work together.
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